Jayelle's Vodoun Jokes
Many of these jokes also appear on Mambo Racine Sans Bout's Vodou site. All jokes are mine unless I say otherwise. You're quite welcome to E-mail me with a joke or humor URL of your own!
How many Vodoun practitioners does it take to change a light bulb?
- There are brothers and sisters in Haiti who don't even HAVE light bulbs...
- Light bulbs never burned out back in Africa!
- Light bulbs can only be properly changed in Haiti!
How many New Orleans Vodoun practitioners does it take to change a light bulb?
- Five--one to hold up the bulb, four to drink until the room spins...
How many Ghede Vodoun practitioners does it take to change a light bulb?
- Real Ghede practitioners aren't afraid of the dark!
- None--Ghede practitioners LIKE the dark!
How many Rada practitioners....?
- None needed--they always walk in the light!
- Just one--s/he holds up the bulb and the world revolves around her.
- One, but it takes a LOT of lightbulbs!
- One to insert the old bulb, and one to exact revenge on the old bulb for burning out!
How many white seekers...?
- Pay me a thousand dollars and I'll teach you...
- Have sex with me and you'll find out!
- White people can't change lightbulbs! The ancestors will be offended!
Why did the Haitian chicken cross the road?
- She knew Fet Ghede was coming!
What's the difference between Vodoun and Santeria?
- A few thousand dollars a year. [This can be interpreted two ways...I leave it to you to choose!]
- One is a beautiful, traditional, magickal religion based on African ways, the other is the religion I'm not a member of.
- Who cares? You're all going to hell! [Sorry, Assemblies of God flashback...]
How do you know a mambo or houngan is for real?
- The one you're talking to is for real, but the one s/he's fighting with, well, that's a different story...
VodouNet/Jayelle's Interfaith Discussion